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Do I want to Drink?


By jamesaguiar - Posted on 12 December 2013

do I want to drink?
every moment of every day
as a I pay the price
for rolling the dice
to go out the door
asking what for?
I want more the ease of the pain
which strains
against the lid of my skull
aching and dull
as I try to process
in my inner recess
the thoughts
anxiety and propriety has bought.
do I want to drink?
as I stand at the brink.
what do I think
of a tomorrow
from which I must borrow
the attitude of a man
who should have a plan
instead of this scam:
this life strife?
Do I want to drink?
to escape the echoes of the cognitively dissonant
resonant
echoes
banging
clanging
on the cerebrations
on the walls of my skull:
feeling my scalp pull
Do I want to drink?
what do you think?
when I watch and listen
with blind ambition
that all will be better
my life fettered
while knowing full well
I am aimed at the hell
of grief
beyond belief.
Do I want to drink knowing
tomorrow's day will suck away more of the marrow
of every dream I borrow
from those whose lives
appear less than just to survive?
Do I want to drink?
No and No again,
the refrain,
staying sane
away from the never more
the bed sore of a life worse
stunned, perverse
for the inebriate
mental celibate
who is in his own hell alone,
stoned, rejected,
defective.
do I want to drink?
only if to die is my reason why.

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